I am struggling.
I'm struggling with stress from finances.
I'm struggling with using old, familiar, unhealthy (mainly dietary) (destructive) coping tactics (junk food binging) in the face of increased, ongoing, uncontrollable stress.
I'm struggling with moving forward.
Life is in limbo for up to the next year.
Not being able to make plans for the future cripples me with fear.
With all the work I've put in on undoing bad habits, creating a positive inner voice, I'm paralyzed by fear of the unknown and unable to keep working on reversing and surpassing.
I am struggling and even admitting it is dangerous because there are those who will read this and try to use it against me.
But I have to admit it.
I must speak it.
Because in past, I haven't and it's made it worse.
I don't need sympathy or pity.
I don't need placating comments, or cliches, or well meaning platitudes.
I just need to be able to say, out loud, standing firmly in my fear, that
I
Am
Struggling.
It will pass.
It always does.
I'll survive, as we do, because we always do.
I'll never choose to give up.
It will never be more than I can bear.
But for now......
I struggle.
