This ad is simply because I thought it was funny... and I think that everyone should buy one... it's wicked cheap! But then we Canadians are pretty lib about marijuana usage (unless you're unaware of how to google, you should know that when used correctly it is far more beneficial than harmful, and look at all the shitty things you eat all the time!) Also, please notice that this version of Amazon is American which is strange.... they still very much believe that pot is part of the war that they fight against drugs....
Anywho, back to my topic of how it's going this far... another perfect example of chasing a squirrel, btw. Well, the thing that still plagues me about the quitting smoking is the wanting to want it... when I talked on the phone, I smoked; after I ate, I smoked; coffee and a smoke to 'get things moving in the morning'; finishing a task (ie cleaning something fairly major not just wiping the counter) meant a ciggie butt reward for a job well done. I almost don't know what to do now or how to possibly do anything without having that smoke to cap it off and start the next thing... total mindf@$k... I'm pretty lost... and the thing of it is that there's NOTHING that you can do in that small 2-5 min that you'd NORMALLY be smoking because there's nothing else that only takes that much time. Crocheting is great, but it's the working on it that gives you the accomplished feeling so 2-5 min is just a teaser and thus not satisfying and THUS not worth picking it up. Ya, I can blog but that always takes me more time and often I start it and then come back and finish it hours later. After I've let the proverbial 'train' come back to the station.
I'm not really noticing too many side effects... some may say I'm a bit sensitive, but they may in fact just be looking for a place to deflect their douchey behaviour to, rather than take onus for it like a grownup and then deleting their crappy remarks so no one else can point out that it was rude and not just make like I'm crazy.... HOLY run on sentence, batman! [end mini rant]
So I'm looking for suggestions for things that I might do to deal with my want to want to smoke (no, that is not a typo... read it over til it makes sense to you... yes, there you go!)
You SHOULD be able to leave such suggestions at the end here in the comment section. It should be set up so that anyone can leave one, member or not. If that is not the case then you may email your suggestions to mordenka0426@gmail.com... serious suggestions only and please keep in mind that BW doesn't return to me until the end of this weekend.
ttfn (ps, that's a quote from Tigger not some lame acronym that you techies use)
CrAzYmOmMa
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Things that I'm weird/OCD about
Closets/storage space
I like to have a lot of space to 'put things' but I HATE it when things are too full... means it's time to purge... although I'm not sure how much more stuff I can get rid of!
I like things arranged in the neatest possible manner although not at the expense of buying organizers... I just put things in tubs and stack them or try to get things as out of the way as possible.
Gum Packages
I like the gum to come out of the package in a certain way. If it is not done in that way then it really pisses me off and I become mildly obsessed with it's being 'wrong'. It's ruined my day before. Exception to this is Bella's gum. She gets chicklets and she eats them according to flavour. They come in those bubble packs. She can do it how she pleases, because it's hers, but if she eats my gum, she takes it out of the right spot. That's my girl!
Socks
I only like to wear short white socks, like golfers' socks (preferably by Hanes) . If they touch my ankle or come up to high on my heal, they drive me nuts. I prefer no socks (or shoes) but since I live in Canada and that's not an option, then it should be these socks. In cases of extreme cold or going out to play in snow where boots are being worn, then I'll concede to higher socks but as soon as possible, I take them off.
After a pair of socks has been put on and then removed they MUST be laundered. It doesn't matter if I wore them for an hour and have to put on socks again. One pair of socks can only be put on once. A fresh pair EVERY TIME.
The way the socks are put on is also important. Each sock is bunched and stretched out so it fits over the toes with out having to squish them or move them at all. Then the sock is pulled up, releasing new sock as it goes. This gets the sock put on perfectly with no need for messing about with it. Perfect sock application every time.
Bed Making
When you make a bed, there are things that it should not have when completed. Wrinkles ANYWHERE and if you use a top sheet (I do not) there should not be any loose bits showing out from under the top cover (blanket, comforter, duvet or what have you). Hospital corners are the ONLY acceptable way to apply a top sheet. Pillowcases should be applied in such a manner that the shaking of the pillow to get it into the case, is not required. Bunch it up (see socks above) and then flip it inside out. Grasp the corners of the pillow and turn it right side out again with the pillow inside the case and unbunch it as you pull it up the pillow. Pillowcases that go crazy and end up sideways from 'crazy sleeping' drive me nuts. Also, I hate 'floor bits' in my bed. When I get into bed, I don't want to sleep in grit and crumbs. Makes me crazy (my cousin shared a room with B and I this summer at his family's cottage and he CONSTANTLY had to hear me piss and moan about sand in the bed, he's a trooper), and no one likes a CrAzYmOmMa!
There are sooo many more things, but I suspect I've scared you enough for now.
Time to go and clean some more!
CrAzYmOmMa
I like to have a lot of space to 'put things' but I HATE it when things are too full... means it's time to purge... although I'm not sure how much more stuff I can get rid of!
I like things arranged in the neatest possible manner although not at the expense of buying organizers... I just put things in tubs and stack them or try to get things as out of the way as possible.
Gum Packages
I like the gum to come out of the package in a certain way. If it is not done in that way then it really pisses me off and I become mildly obsessed with it's being 'wrong'. It's ruined my day before. Exception to this is Bella's gum. She gets chicklets and she eats them according to flavour. They come in those bubble packs. She can do it how she pleases, because it's hers, but if she eats my gum, she takes it out of the right spot. That's my girl!
Socks
I only like to wear short white socks, like golfers' socks (preferably by Hanes) . If they touch my ankle or come up to high on my heal, they drive me nuts. I prefer no socks (or shoes) but since I live in Canada and that's not an option, then it should be these socks. In cases of extreme cold or going out to play in snow where boots are being worn, then I'll concede to higher socks but as soon as possible, I take them off.
After a pair of socks has been put on and then removed they MUST be laundered. It doesn't matter if I wore them for an hour and have to put on socks again. One pair of socks can only be put on once. A fresh pair EVERY TIME.
The way the socks are put on is also important. Each sock is bunched and stretched out so it fits over the toes with out having to squish them or move them at all. Then the sock is pulled up, releasing new sock as it goes. This gets the sock put on perfectly with no need for messing about with it. Perfect sock application every time.
Bed Making
When you make a bed, there are things that it should not have when completed. Wrinkles ANYWHERE and if you use a top sheet (I do not) there should not be any loose bits showing out from under the top cover (blanket, comforter, duvet or what have you). Hospital corners are the ONLY acceptable way to apply a top sheet. Pillowcases should be applied in such a manner that the shaking of the pillow to get it into the case, is not required. Bunch it up (see socks above) and then flip it inside out. Grasp the corners of the pillow and turn it right side out again with the pillow inside the case and unbunch it as you pull it up the pillow. Pillowcases that go crazy and end up sideways from 'crazy sleeping' drive me nuts. Also, I hate 'floor bits' in my bed. When I get into bed, I don't want to sleep in grit and crumbs. Makes me crazy (my cousin shared a room with B and I this summer at his family's cottage and he CONSTANTLY had to hear me piss and moan about sand in the bed, he's a trooper), and no one likes a CrAzYmOmMa!
There are sooo many more things, but I suspect I've scared you enough for now.
Time to go and clean some more!
CrAzYmOmMa
Headaches!
So for those of you who know me, you know I'm prone to headaches. What you may not know is that I have a headache every freakin' day of my freakin' life!!! This morning was a prime example of a this. I woke up @ 0630 because of a headache. Why do I get these headaches? I have NO flippin' idea, but they really really suck. I've gone to chiropractors, massage, naturopath, gp, had a ct scan everything coming up with NOTHING! The longest and worst one was from May 2nd til August 1st of this year. Some days things are migraine status and some days are just a dull nag in my head, but every day I get up and shake hands with my 'old friend'. I still carry out my days and if I have to then I medicate myself with a narcotic (prescribed), even though I don't really like to take pharmaceutical medications as they make me feel edgy and I want to get out of my body. I'm thinking that it has something to do with the fibro, but can't be sure. Hopefully getting in to see a rhumatologist will help me sort this out because this is really bullshit.
End of Rant
End of Rant
Sunday, December 12, 2010
sooo many squirrels, so little time
So I feel there are some things that I need to explain to some of you (not that there's anyone 'following' me yet, but when there are, they'll be glad for this entry)... the first entry just kinda fell outta me via my hands and there may be things that people would like to know... any questions that you have should go into the comments and I'll answer them in a post somewhere. Most likely it will be at the end of the next post...
Why 'Chasing Squirrels'?
Well, while I can't take credit for coining this phrase (Krissy, that one's ALL YOU), I have definitely spread it like wild fire and now most of the people that I talk to on the reg-u-laire use it too... although usually to describe me at any given moment.
Chasing squirrels are what happens when you lose your train of thought, have a brain fart, adhd, baby brain, fibro fog (mine is that and the adhd, by the way), ride bikes (again, thanks Krissy) and sometimes it's so bad that the squirrels are riding the bikes and chasing YOU! Sadly, that happens to me A LOT.
Things I'm looking forward to:
HOMECOMING
If you're on my fb then you'll know 2 very prevalent facts in my life at this point in time:
1. I have a NEARLY perfect boyfriend who is uber handsome. This is especially important because every man (term used loosely) who came before 'BoyWonder' (BW is what I'll refer to him as from here on out) were TOTAL douche canoes (thanks LoonieBin, it's been re-sown in MANY a conversations)
2. that BW has been gone for work since Oct 24th and it's near killed me.
BW is coming home (yay) by the close of the week! I can't tell you how excited I am, but I can tell you that after he's home, you won't hear from me for a couple days. 'B' will be going to one of our relatives for that time and I'll be waiting on BW hand and foot because that's just the kinda gal I am.
BOWFLEX
BW and I are getting a Bowflex from this really, really nice guy off of Kijiji. I am sooo excited to get buff! I was pretty well developed from construction and everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) has shifted since having B and gaining 73 lbs and losing 80-ish. I'm also hoping it will give me something to do since I'm not going to be smoking, although I'm thinking of taking up some sort of craft also... I could finish crocheting the baby blankets I've started and maybe make B a quilt or learn to knit... I dunno but something. (Prime example of 'squirrel chasing', right there.)
Anyway I'm thinking that the Bowflex may help with my fibro and the strength training via resistance exercises will make me feel better and prevent me from eating everything I see from quitting smoking!
XMAS!!!!
I'm sooo excited for xmas to come! Going to be one of the best ones in a while I think (last year was fun, but not the way I wanted to spend xmas). Going to be filled with family and getting to meet BWs extended family and he mine... here's hoping it's not 'eventful' in a negatively connotative way! I LOVE getting together with family and friends and the music and the wine/booze and the food and spreading the love and general merrymaking! I am sooo lucky to have a wonderful family... we're a bit quirky but just good people through and through. Hopefully we'll get to catch up with our friends too. I'm sure there'll be lots of socializing since BW has been gone FOREVER!
I think that is enough for now... gotta go get my laundry and then perhaps my child will wake up from her nap!
CrAzYmOmMa
Why 'Chasing Squirrels'?
Well, while I can't take credit for coining this phrase (Krissy, that one's ALL YOU), I have definitely spread it like wild fire and now most of the people that I talk to on the reg-u-laire use it too... although usually to describe me at any given moment.
Chasing squirrels are what happens when you lose your train of thought, have a brain fart, adhd, baby brain, fibro fog (mine is that and the adhd, by the way), ride bikes (again, thanks Krissy) and sometimes it's so bad that the squirrels are riding the bikes and chasing YOU! Sadly, that happens to me A LOT.
Things I'm looking forward to:
HOMECOMING
If you're on my fb then you'll know 2 very prevalent facts in my life at this point in time:
1. I have a NEARLY perfect boyfriend who is uber handsome. This is especially important because every man (term used loosely) who came before 'BoyWonder' (BW is what I'll refer to him as from here on out) were TOTAL douche canoes (thanks LoonieBin, it's been re-sown in MANY a conversations)
2. that BW has been gone for work since Oct 24th and it's near killed me.
BW is coming home (yay) by the close of the week! I can't tell you how excited I am, but I can tell you that after he's home, you won't hear from me for a couple days. 'B' will be going to one of our relatives for that time and I'll be waiting on BW hand and foot because that's just the kinda gal I am.
BOWFLEX
BW and I are getting a Bowflex from this really, really nice guy off of Kijiji. I am sooo excited to get buff! I was pretty well developed from construction and everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) has shifted since having B and gaining 73 lbs and losing 80-ish. I'm also hoping it will give me something to do since I'm not going to be smoking, although I'm thinking of taking up some sort of craft also... I could finish crocheting the baby blankets I've started and maybe make B a quilt or learn to knit... I dunno but something. (Prime example of 'squirrel chasing', right there.)
Anyway I'm thinking that the Bowflex may help with my fibro and the strength training via resistance exercises will make me feel better and prevent me from eating everything I see from quitting smoking!
XMAS!!!!
I'm sooo excited for xmas to come! Going to be one of the best ones in a while I think (last year was fun, but not the way I wanted to spend xmas). Going to be filled with family and getting to meet BWs extended family and he mine... here's hoping it's not 'eventful' in a negatively connotative way! I LOVE getting together with family and friends and the music and the wine/booze and the food and spreading the love and general merrymaking! I am sooo lucky to have a wonderful family... we're a bit quirky but just good people through and through. Hopefully we'll get to catch up with our friends too. I'm sure there'll be lots of socializing since BW has been gone FOREVER!
I think that is enough for now... gotta go get my laundry and then perhaps my child will wake up from her nap!
CrAzYmOmMa
Quitting Smoking
So, I'm just starting this blog whilst quitting smoking... not sure why, but here's what's happened to this point:
- 2 Fridays ago I went to my gp for a 'smoking cessation' medication
- we decided that Zyban (Wellbutrin) was my best option
- I started it the next day (Saturday, Dec. 4th)
- I've continued to smoke throughout the time that's elapsed until today
- I haven't really suffered too many of the side effects, which is strange because I'm wildly sensitive to pharmaceuticals
So this morning I get up to get ready to go to my mom's church with my daughter (she's going to be 3 at March's close). I get through getting B her breakfast and diapered (she refuses to go on the potty... the end) and dressed and hair done, myself showered and both 'beautified' (she likes to have some 'eyes' too and then promptly wipes the teeny bit that she has on, off). I've been up since 0730 and it wasn't 'til 0900 that I thought, 'Hey, I haven't had a smoke yet.'
This is strange since usually I wake up, go pee, start the coffee and then have a 1/3-1/2 smoke and then off to the bathroom again. Then coffee is done and I pour a cuppa, and finish smoke #1.
I didn't make coffee this morning either... strange again.
I went for a smoke when it occured to me that I hadn't had one and lit up, took a drag, inhaled it deeply (you know you make love to the first drag of the day) and felt..... NOTHING!
I was a little shocked and slightly miffed... where was it? Where was that sense of relief and release from that first puff? It was gone! I puffed a couple more and still nothing.
It wasn't the same... the taste was different, the smell didn't make me happy, it was foreign and unfamiliar... I suspect this is how those people feel who just wake up and feel like they don't know the person who they married nearly 17 years prior.... I was a veteran smoker, and it seemed bizarre.
It was a bit of a mindf*$k too, I'm not gonna lie... I wanted to want that ciggie, but I felt nothing.
It reminds me of a man I dated who had everything that a girl could ever want but I felt NOTHING for him so I let it go. A DOCTOR ladies, but there was NO spark. Nadda.
I guess this is how smoking will be for me now. Most likely I'll try again to make sure it wasn't a fluke (I've tried about 3 times today but nothing every time... damnit, that's my longest committed relationship to date!) but I'm thinking that it's just done.
My mistress has died.
So long, sucka!
CrAzYmOmMa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)